Choosing the Ideal Starting Poker Hands Guide
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Some of the main hubs of poker are also the most sexualized cities in the United States
name New Orleans and then later Las Vegas. These cities are absolutely oozing with sex
and although this paper is not trying to make a moralistic argument decrying these wild cities’ lifestyles
much of these images have stuck to the game of poker itself. Perhaps this phenomenon would not be so bad if it played out evenly between the two sexes
but all one sees is the portrayal of partially disrobed women advertising for poker sites. One only needs to log onto the internet and search for “Women and Poker” to have a dozen women in bikinis immediately pop up on the screen.
In fact
yours truly actually did run a search specifically for “Women and Poker”
and here are some of the surprising results. In no particular order we present 10 of the most tasteful poker sites on the web:
-Pokerium Online Poker Room and Casino: The front page of this website is a model of good taste and restraint. Many of the searches yielded interesting results
but this website was head and shoulders ahead. Upon opening the home page one finds an illustration of a scantily clad brown-haired vixen with a flower in her hair(no real women were harmed during the production of this design). The interesting part of this drawing is that she is placed inside of a huge Ace of Clubs. In the middle of the card
where the woman is located
lies a very large club
and the stem of said club just happens to terminate in the center of the woman’s crotch. Although there is a possibility that this not-so-subtle innuendo was unintentional
we would not bet on it.
-Next on our list is the deliciously tasteful advertisement on hollywoodpoker.com for their “Babes & Bounties” tournament. To begin with
the title itself should be enough to ruffle the feathers of most women poker players. Then
the image used on the page is of a woman in a bikini top with money in the background behind her. And finally
for those players who aren’t sold by the picture in the middle
the site claims that “12 of the sexiest poker hostesses in the game” will be present at the table. It’s a good thing too
because most serious poker players refuse to play in tournaments with any less than 8 sexy poker hostesses. Finally
jus tto make sure that one can notice all the different features on the side
there is a picture of a woman on the left-hand side of the screen dressed in her rather unsupportive underwear lying down in front of a laptop with poker chips lying around her body. She is happily wearing a pair of flattering white high heeled shoes so that she can model at any moment during her poker game. A truly classy website.
-PokerWorld.com
an up and coming online card room
is another tastefully crafted website
with nothing to offend save for their new “Topless Bonus”. The “Topless Bonus: The Shape of Things to Come” seems a stretch: with this promotion they will “top up” your account with a free 20% bonus. The stingy bonus does not only fall way short of the 200% bonuses floating around on various sites
it also offends the eye. They advertise it with a small silhouette of a woman
hardly exposing anything whatsoever. Why they chose to try and correlate a 20% with topless women is a mystery
but they surely went for it.
-Not to be outdone
Jungle Poker has its own female spokeswoman: none other than the lovely Cheynelle Fraser
a bartender/model who is now the official face of Jungle Poker. Why a poker site would need a sizzling hot model as a spokeswoman is a grand mystery. We suspect it is because the photos of Cheynelle – which include several excellent cleavage shots – surely have everything to do with poker and nothing with selling sexuality. Although the site may be using the good looks of beautiful Cheynelle to help promote their site
they are not just about T & A on th
eir site: on the front page of the site they have an advertisement for their heads up Sit & Go tournaments
featuring two headshots of a man and a woman
both fully dressed
challenging each other to a card game. Hurray for equality!
-Europeans are no exception when it comes to using alluring images of the female form to help them sell their products. In a recent article published on poker.gamble.co.uk
the author writes about the upcoming Great British Poker Tour
and the centerpiece image of this article is a nude woman relaxing in a bathtub full of poker chips. It’s a good thing that they posted this picture
because nothing says Great British Poker Tour better than a woman bathing nude in poker chips.
-The most morbid result found during the search came from best-poker-rakeback.net on their rakeback advertisement
which features a frightening illustration of zombie woman in a corset
fishnet stockings
heels
and a short skirt using a rake to gather up some playing cards that must have fallen off a tree. Although the idea of having somebody literally raking poker cards is cute
we’re not sure about the need for a sexy undead woman.
-Gambling blog Oddjack paid homage to the women of poker in an article titled “Top 10 Sexiest Women of Poker”. This enlightening four part series takes the readers through their list of what they view as the sexiest women in the poker world. Just to give a small taste of their depictions of these women
we will go over the first three women they talk about. Each woman has a picture with a caption beneath it. At number ten on their list is Courtney Friel
a television hostess for the world poker tour. The picture they have of her is in a lacy tank top: fair enough. She’s obviously OK with the picture considering she modeled for it. Underneath the picure is a caption that says “Stop teasing us Courtney
tear those laces off!”
The next featured profile is that of Evelyn Ng. Underneath her picture they put a quote that says
“Evelyn sure is one sweet ride…” Sadly
they did not even try to be creative with this comment
the only possible connotation for this remark is a sexual one. They also remarked in her profile that she won the WPT Ladies Night event and that
“Yup
she kicked ass. Asses that belong to Annie Duke and Kathy Liebert. Asses I don’t wanna see anytime soon. No matter how much they pay me to.” This hilarious joke about the physical assets of two of poker’s greatest female players was insulting to say the least.
At number 8 on their list is none other than Lily Elviro. This strong poker player who
besides being a strong poker player
is physically well endowed as well. The picture which they used for her was taken during a poker tournament she played in and shows her at the table holding a pair of cards. She is leaning forward a little showing a fair portion of her not so small breasts. Unable to resist
the comment beneath the photo says
“It’s hard for Lily to always carry a heavy set of puppies like that.” If it wasn’t for such brilliant writing most of us would completely miss out on such hard to miss features.
-Next on our list is an article written by Toby Bochan on her poker blog. This photo-article
featured on about.com
is titled “The hottest women of poker”
and it is essentially an amateur photo gallery of professional femal poker players. The women featured in this article are Evelyn Ng
Shannon Elizabeth
Clonie Gowen
Jennifer Tilly
Liz Lieu
Vanessa Rousso
Isabelle Mercier
Cyndy Violette
Jennifer Harman
Annie Duke
Kristy Gazes
Chantel McNutty
and Jennefer “Jennicide” Leigh. Perhaps the most disturbing part about this gallery is not that these women have their pictures posted
but that none of the pictures were studio pictures. They all seem like photos that were taken in a clandestine manner on a digital camera. Does this strike anybody as creepy?
-Coming l
ast on our list is none other than Full Tilt Poker
who recently issued a challenge between Paris Hilton and Clonie Gowen. Their hearts were definitely in the right place: they were to host a heads-up challenge between the two women and the winner would take the $100
000 prize and donate it to the charity of her choice. This sounds good
so why does this make our trash list? Well
if you go to the website
the page they created for this challenge has these two women stacked up next to each other. The title for their statistics is called their “Sexy Stats”
and just to make sure that the best poker player wins
they even added a “Who is sexier?” poll at the bottom of the page.
Thus concludes our trashy website list (NEED TO THINK OF A WAY TO PITCH THIS ARTICLE). Part IV will conclude “Women and Poker” by addressing what the future of women and poker may hold.
–
Poker After Dark – Big Man Straight (source: launchpoker.com)
When Poker After Dark started their new season
they started to bring in some new blood as well. In the Cash Game episode
where players paid $100k to play
Phil Hellmuth
Tom Dwan
Allen Cunningham
Guy Laliberte
Mike Baxter
and David Peat were invited … (source: launchpoker.com) – RSS feeds and Feed widget on Feedzilla.com
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